Welcome to the Hamptons: Reality vs. Fantasy
The Hamptons has always been this magical place to those near and far. It serves as a summer escape from the hustle and bustle of the harsh NYC life for some. For those that are miles away but have heard about Diddy's infamous all white parties, it's a place where celebrities just roam the streets and have a chance to be a regular person. All these things and more may be true but if you ask any local, there's a 95% chance they do not feel the same.
Whenever I went out of town especially when I went away to college, I dreaded telling people where I was from because I knew what would come out of their mouthes next-- "Oh you're from the Hamptons?! You must be rich!" "Do you live in a manison?" "What celebrities have you seen/met?" and the absolute worst one that I've heard is "Is the Hamptons like one big town and you all attend the same high school or something?" B L A H. All those ignorant stereotypes irks my soul more than nails on a chalkboard, more than a cat crying in the middle of the night, more than the Kardashians still being relevant (Ok, I love like 4 of them but still.)
So, I believe it's time to clear the air on a few things. As my girl Katniss once said, "I volunteer as tribute."
1. The Hamptons is NOT one big place
Your beloved Hamptons is made up of multiple towns that each have their own vibe, set of people, activities, etc. It's like someone grouping you and your siblings all together as one when you're clearly different people. Southampton is not the same as Westhampton Beach and Montauk is not the same as Bridgehampton. Please take the time to learn and appreciate each town for what it is.
2. Everyone that lives in the Hamptons is NOT rich
This one probably grinds my gears because it's ignorance at its finest. I doubt there's any place on Earth that everyone in one area is living the same financially whether it be Manhattan, Los Angeles or Jupiter. There's always a mixture of people and it's the same here. The reason why you visitors don't see it is because those non-rich people are the ones scooping your ice cream at the parlor, or serving you drinks at 75 Main, ringing up your merchandise at any store. The ones that are given attitude from sun up and sun down but have nowhere to escape to because this is OUR home. Before Memorial Day and after Labor Day, we remain here and continue to live our lives while everyone gets to go back to what they call home. So maybe once in a while you can stop staring at your cell phone screens and acknowledge the person that is benefiting you.
3. 'Citiots' make everything damn near IMPOSSIBLE
First, let me explain what exactly a citiot is. According to Urban Dictionary, a citiot is "More commonly from New York City, citiots venture out to their summer homes in the Hamptons from Memorial Day to Labor Day. They usually have fancy cars and are usually wealthy. They drive like they own the place, and they walk around town and in stores like they own them too. Citiots are very snobbish." To be fair, all city people don't behave this way but a strong 90% do and this makes us locals enjoy the quiet time while we still can. In just two weeks, a 8 minute drive from Bridgehampton to Southampton will become a 35 minute trip simply because city people don't know you can make a right turn on red or only drive while in the Hamptons but take MTA/Uber/Taxis the other 275 days of the year. A nice quiet walk on the beach will soon be crowded with obnoxious children giving their au pair hell because she forgot to pack the Cheddar bunnies AND the Perrier Water. Going out for a cheap drink on a Wednesday will shortly turn into an expensive drink that you cannot have without an hour wait or better yet not at all because a celebrity has decided to shut down the whole restaurant.
I can't even continue to go on without packing my bags and getting a one way ticket out of here but I will not do that because regardless of what happens, this is a place I call home. Citiots and other visitors tend to forget that this isn't a summer vacation playland for all, for some, it's reality without the glitz and glamor you all see through rose colored glasses. For example, It's kind of like when you decide to throw a house party and invite all your friends and their friends. They eat your food, drink your drinks and just have a good ass time. Everything starts out great but halfway through the party, it gets a bit crowded and someone breaks Nana's vase that's been in the family for decades and now you're unhappy. By the end of the night, everyone leaves satisfied but you're left behind to clean up the mess, regretting ever throwing the party to begin with.
Bottom line is if you decide that this is your summer to venture on out to the East End, we welcome you with our lovely beaches and quaint towns but just remember to show some respect to the people that make it all possible that other nine months out the year.
Happy Summer 2015 all! May the odds be ever in your favor!
